Tori, the destroyer, and overcoming inexplicable laziness

28 Feb

Friends who come over and see my laptop wonder how the fuck I live with myself. I guess I have a high tolerance for shit (and lots of love for my dog). I mostly use my laptop on the couch or in bed, with Tori right next to me. Sometimes she decides I need love, so she jumps on my lap, puts her front paws on my shoulders, licks my face and/or rubs her neck on it. I call it face-raping. It’s pretty gross and I usually wash my face after, but you can’t deny it’s super cute.

On the way to or off my lap, if I’m not careful, she steps on the keyboard and may yank a key or two. The first key to go was backspace, two weeks after I’d purchased the laptop four years ago. I was furious. Then went the left side ‘shift’, the z, the +, and the o. The o was the worst. Do you know how often that letter is used? It sucked. I had to copy and paste it each time. The majority of posts you see on this blog were written without the o key.

For some reason, without researching I had decided that replacing a keyboard would be costly, so I never bothered to check prices. After someone told me they were super cheap, I got one on Ebay for $14 including shipping. It arrived on Wednesday and I thought I’d bring it to my dad on Sunday for him to install it.

This morning, as I sat on the bed with the laptop, Tori started howling at the noisy ambulance driving on our street. I love it when she does that, so I barked a little to encourage her. She jumped on me and started face-raping. I had a coffee in my hand so I wasn’t careful when removing her off me… she pulled out the e and d keys with her nails.

How the fuck can I write without an e, d, o, or z? It’s way more than I can handle. Drastic circumstances call for drastic measures, so I found online that I might easily be able to replace the keyboard on my own. I skipped a couple of steps that I deemed to be extraneous/difficult, but the new keyboard works. I’d been avoiding the word ‘crazy’ like crazy but now I can go crazy with it.

I was quick to brag about my MacGyver-ish self-reliance to my friend (oh, and everyone on Facebook).

For a while you were the only writer I know without a [proper] keyboard. Quite an accomplishment. I congratulate you.

I congratulate myself too.

“What’s in the plastic? Is it food?”

I hope I don’t need screws ’cause I just lost them



4 Responses to “Tori, the destroyer, and overcoming inexplicable laziness”

  1. Martin February 28, 2010 at 02:03 #

    I feel your pain. My “E” doesn’t ever want to work. 😦

  2. S.I.F. February 28, 2010 at 07:51 #

    Oh my gosh, that would actually make me crazy! I type far too fast to be worrying about missing keys! Good for you for figuring out how to replace it yourself though. I am always proud of myself when I pull something like that off!

    Poor puppy, she just wants some love!

  3. Kanwalful March 1, 2010 at 10:56 #

    Omg….hahahhahaha. This is hilarious. It happened to me once too. When my computer died and I had to use my sister’s laptop. Her laptop was the most screwed up thing on this planet. Half the keys wouldnt work and I had to copy paste letters off websites to write!

  4. Jenny March 10, 2010 at 16:59 #

    My dorm roommate lost the ‘z’ key and we were both amazed at how frequently she needed me to IM it to her. For her next trick, Tori should pluck out “R,S,T,L,N,E” and see how that works out.

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