Blogging from a club at 1:40 because I’m a loser?

7 Mar

OK. I’m wearing a leather mini skirt, my favorite black military-style boots, a cute hat, and I’m sitting at the bar in a Boston nightclub. I’ve got my friends hanging out to my right.

I don’t wanna be a playa no ‘mo
[I’m not a playa, I just crush a lot]

That’s the music playing right now. Oh! New song:

Are you feeling naughty? Are you feeling naughty?
I get so fucked up with so many booby shots!
I’m fucked up! I’m trying to fuck!

I don’t know if it’s because I’m turning 27 in a week and have come to the realization I should probably stop referring to myself as a “girl” and saying that I “need a boy to crush on” (because the truth is, most of these ‘boys’ are starting to lose their hair and grow beer bellies). Whatever the reason, my patience for this shit is starting to wear real thin. Friends will call, inviting to go out dancing, and what goes through my mind is, “it’s cold… I can’t stand the fucking lines. I don’t want to pay $12 for a crap drink. The DJ will be some kid with a bunch of random manic songs on his iTunes. I’m bound to get molestered (this is a South Park reference. I’m typing from my iPhone. No fun links today). And I certainly don’t want to deal with the ‘Yankees suck’ bullshit that often happens at 2am, when all venues close and all of the city’s finest idiots invade the streets, stumbling around and taking all the cabs.

Yeaaaah, sorry, Ivi, it’s too cold and I’ve got two movies to watch.

I’m not old and I need to party. I just can’t party like this anymore. It’s not fun. It’s annoying. So to my super dearest friends sending me messages, asking me what we’re doing for my birthday: I don’t know. We’ll probably end up going to a bar in Allston, shooting darts, drinking some beers and laughing a lot. We’ll have plenty of room to stand and not feel like stuffed sausages holding $12 drinks.

The DJ just remixed a Guns N’ Roses song with Ke$ha “music.” If you don’t know who Ke$ha is, you’re probably a slightly happier person than me.


20 Responses to “Blogging from a club at 1:40 because I’m a loser?”

  1. John F. O'Sullivan March 7, 2010 at 07:39 #

    Your ability to blog from your iPhone in a club is admirable. Sort of. :p I have a hard enough typing on those things without the distractions of being in a club.

  2. fallingfromprams March 7, 2010 at 11:25 #

    It’s amazing you type so well on your iPhone. I always have a million typos. Maybe you could look into meeting guys in a better way than at a club? Online, at a coffee shop or book store, joining some adult clubs, etc.

  3. Night Writer March 7, 2010 at 13:27 #

    We went out for a friend’s bday, and we had a little get-together after with cake and all. I definitely don’t go out dancing to find guys 🙂 the post was probably a glass of PMS and ‘I’m getting old’ whine, but I’m always happy to write whatever/whenever.

  4. id March 7, 2010 at 13:44 #

    Ok, this is really sad… you blogged all that from your iphone at a birthday party? And I thought my night was not all that much fun. Anyways, I see you haven’t been to Allston in a while, good luck finding a bar with enough room to play darts on a weekend night.

    • Night Writer March 7, 2010 at 14:27 #

      nah, i think i’ll try to get people to go on my birthday, which falls on a tuesday. should we go to the hookah lounge?? help me. i don’t want to plan anything.

      it may be sad, but
      a) you were mentioned on my blog, so now you’re famous. be quiet and be thankful;

      b) it was a better way to spend 20mins than listening to “i read. generally. typically.” or “that’s a nice bag. it’s an aztec print. i know because i went to art school.”

      • id March 7, 2010 at 20:22 #

        here are my but(t)s:
        a) yes, I will study the legal ramifications of it, my lawyer will contact you soon.
        b) you are so selfish, think of the people who are around you when you are listening these pick up lines…

  5. Carly Findlay March 8, 2010 at 01:49 #

    I loved the last line – ‘If you don’t know who Ke$ha is, you’re probably a slightly happier person than me.’
    That is very true!

    Going out to clubs is dull!

    I like your blog already.

  6. andhari March 8, 2010 at 09:12 #

    LOL omg KE$HA 😀

    Well I still love going out dancing but drink prices are really a bitch in fancy clubs. Although crowds are good and I can tolerate popular music, still. I prefer just go to clubs if I, or a friend of mine, have a table so we don’t have to wait in long lines or stand all night in a cramped space.

  7. Matt March 8, 2010 at 16:36 #

    As a Yankees fan, I fully realize I would never be able to live in Boston.

    And I’m ok with that.

  8. Paula March 8, 2010 at 16:54 #

    I’m 30 and I still refer to myself as a “girl”. Is that wrong?

    (I’m CERTAINLY no “lady” anyway, haha)

  9. Ben March 8, 2010 at 17:45 #

    I am convinced there is nothing you can mix with Ke$ha to make her okay.

  10. alexa - cleveland's a plum March 8, 2010 at 22:43 #

    i came here from matt’s…. can we be friends?

  11. The Mercurial Wife March 9, 2010 at 14:37 #

    That club scene must have been pretty boring! LOL

    Anyway I can’t take BS music either. Maybe it’s to do with ‘old age’. Or, maybe not. I’ll be 29 in 7 months and I’m dreading it!

  12. Kellie March 9, 2010 at 15:14 #

    Matt was right when he said you give good blog. I totally can relate to this! I am not old however that type of partying IS old. It sucks being crammed into an overly crowded and overpriced club just to wait in line for an hour for a drink and another hour to go piss. I prefer sports bars, dive bars or just small town bars. At least there your $ will go further and you won’t have to breathe in everyone else’s BO.

  13. wanderingmenace March 9, 2010 at 17:39 #

    I also think it’s amazing that you blogged from your iphone. This is a skill I am going to have to master on the ol blackberry next time my friends drag me to a place like that.
    There just comes a time when standing around with overpriced bad drinks is unacceptable.
    Looks like you and I are in the same club.

  14. Ask Alice March 9, 2010 at 23:09 #

    I know exactly how you feel, my (younger) friend loves going to the bar here called Roadhouse (which we affectionately call the “Whorehouse”).

    If the name doesn’t say it all, the interior decorations certainly do. There’s a stripper pole on the dance floor and more 17 year olds then you can shake a fist at. And I try….trust me, I try.

  15. inna March 10, 2010 at 13:23 #

    On one lovely saturday afternoon i was listening to one of D’s mixes from the previous night. this bitch came on and i remember screaming out to him: WTF are you playing! He even had to tell me about the $ in her name haha.
    on a separate note — Ivy is always forcing nice young ladies such as yourself (and myself) to go clubbing. it can’t just be the european thing, right?

    • Juliana March 10, 2010 at 20:06 #

      hahahaha!!!! i’m so angry i know who she is!! she looks like she could use a shower and a coffee. and another job.

      i think it’s a big part of it. but i think he’s also got a fire up his arse that won’t let him sit still.

  16. Kay March 10, 2010 at 18:48 #

    Hahaha you sound like me. Forcefully being made to go out by my bestie since I’m going through a break up, she looks at me with horrid, since I’m on my palm reading blogs or anything else, instead of enjoyin “being molested” :p great minds think alike!!!

  17. Ryan March 11, 2010 at 16:40 #

    Thats actually a quality post from an iphone. I would of gave up typing a long time ago. I know the feeling. I’m 29 and I hate going to bars that are so packed you can’t move

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