Butt Baby observations

7 Apr

I’m sitting at the same café, same friggin spot as always, and have just chatted with the cutest, friendliest waiter I’ve ever seen – he seems to remember everything I ever tell him and loves updating me on the status of his apartment hunt on the west coast. He’s not my waiter tonight, unfortunately. It’s instead a girl I’ve never seen, who doesn’t smile, and likes to pretend I’m not here. Oh, but I’ve reminded her… about five times now. She must love me.

What has grabbed my attention for the last few minutes is the adorable cutie sitting directly across from me. Don’t get too excited – he looks about 19.  He’s built like a wrestler, with half-sleeve tattoos peeking out of his beat up Gold’s Gym t-shirt, and another on his chest – I got a glimpse thanks to his awful posture. He brought a book to read at the bar of a busy café. No iPod.

Thing is, he hasn’t been paying much attention to that book; he gets distracted often and his eyes wander – but before settling back on the open pages, they drift to the first guy I noticed when I walked in.

I know who this guy is, of course, because he’s a waiter here too. He was sitting in the corner booth when I arrived tonight, inhaling his sandwich in the last few minutes of his break. Facial scruffiness, dark eyes and hair, and a lean build, he is a major hottie with ADHD. His eyes don’t stop moving. Ever. Slightly disconcerting.

He returned to work from break and a few minutes later, 19 year old cutie arrived. He sat on ADHD waiter’s corner of the bar and is still pretending to read a book and check his smartphone. But I swear to god, he’s checking out the waiter.

Has he ever had sex with a man? Is this waiter the first guy he might put the moves on? He looks uncomfortable and eager at the same time, it’s a pleasure to watch – in a cute way.

The waiter doesn’t seem to notice. He’s a fidgety fast mover, efficient and friendly, but disengaged. I try hard to avert my eyes at crucial times, because I don’t want to be a creep, but it’s hard. The young’n looks like such a jock; like he’s missing three clones, with whom he’d laugh loudly and rough-house while walking down Newbury Street – certainly not inside a bookstore/café at 10pm on the warmest Wednesday of the year. Instead, he’s indeed here, multi-tasking between cell phone, book, and secretly admiring. I wish he’d say something.

I also wish that my luck were different tonight and boob-infatuated self-proclaimed Bostonian with a thick Irish accent AS WELL AS Berklee School of Music undergrad with horrid pick up lines weren’t both here. I need a new hang out spot ASAP. It’s too damn bad, because this place has excellent coffee.

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5 Responses to “Butt Baby observations”

  1. The Mercurial Wife April 8, 2010 at 11:25 #

    You’re very observant! I never realized that you blog from a cafe. It must be interesting.

    Did you know that the 19-year-old fella was gay at first glance?

    • Juliana April 8, 2010 at 12:32 #

      i go there once or twice a week, for a change of pace. need a new spot, though, i feel like i know too much about the staff now.
      i really didn’t. he looked like your average iron-pumping, skirt-chasing wrestler. and maybe he isn’t gay, BUT… he wasn’t there for the book, he ordered food (probably not waiting for someone), and he stared an awful lot at the waiter.

      god, i really do feel like a creep.

  2. The Girl Is Goosed April 9, 2010 at 11:07 #

    Your comment was like a dance out of dirty dancing havana nights – thank you! That was a seriously sexy comment!

    I love how you caught all this live and that you post from a bar. I need to be at a bar noticing hot boys – even if they are butt babies. Not mucking about waiting for things to happen. Also, 21 yo sex is not like Latin American 27 yo sex – a not too many weeks ago memory my mind fails to let go of..

    • Juliana April 9, 2010 at 13:51 #

      ooooo.. OOO! i understand. GOOD for you. press replay on that many times over. until another comes along, of course.

      i had a post half-written then shoved it in draft, ’cause i couldn’t ignore all the juiciness happening right in front of me.

      also – I’m the butt baby.. hahaha… long story.

  3. Carly Findlay April 10, 2010 at 00:18 #

    Gosh I love how you write. The observations you make are amazing.
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

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