Netflix hates me

25 Apr

There's something wrong with you, New Zealand

I have a problem with Netflix. Sure I’ll still recommend to everyone because it’s kind of the best thing ever, but it’s also kind of not.

I spent the last 3 days drinking, smoking weed, chain smoking cigarettes, and mostly AWAKE. Today I woke up at noon, fooled around online for ten minutes and decided I wasn’t ready to face the day. It was nearly 7pm when I felt I might be able to support my whole body on my own two feet.

The shower and change of clothes made me feel a little lighter, but my head somehow is still heavier than normal. And it feels kind of empty. I’m afraid I might’ve done permanent damage. Lest you call me a pothead; I drank way more than I smoked. So if anything, it’s alcoholic you’re going for. In my opinion, I’m just a trooper.

Feeling awake yet incompetent, I looked to Netflix for help. I have a 2-at-a-time plan, and have been making an effort to get only one serious/depressing movie delivered each time, the other being slightly less demanding of me. I hadn’t been home since Thursday so I expected to find two titles in my mail: a depressing one and a comedy, In the Loop. Something engaging yet lighthearted.

But that title isn’t with my mail. For some reason Netflix only sent me one movie, and it isn’t a fun one. Drugstore Cowboy is a Gus Van Sant movie about junkies. I’m slightly catatonic right now as a result of assaulting my own body with drugs, so the last thing I want to sit through are dark images of what drug addiction does to a person.

Thanks a lot, Netflix. Now that I’m finished writing, I’m stuck watching my dog lick her paws until I muster the courage to look through my own DVD collection.


10 Responses to “Netflix hates me”

  1. inna April 26, 2010 at 07:59 #

    hey i take some of the responsibility for starting your weekend off “right”. sorry if i caused permanent damage. thanks again for coming with 😀

  2. Sara April 26, 2010 at 10:33 #

    Were you at my house this weekend? Because that’s exactly what I did Friday through Sunday. Except Netflix made my life awesome this weekend by letting me watch Lost all weekend on instant queue.

  3. Sara April 26, 2010 at 10:33 #

    I just used the word weekend way too many times in that comment. Forgive me.

  4. Barbara April 26, 2010 at 15:55 #

    I spent the entire weekend watching season 1 of Dexter. I got paranoid this morning when I saw the neighbor taking out a big, black garbage bag.

  5. Mr. Apron April 26, 2010 at 16:33 #

    Better than watching your dog lick her vag/anooos.


  6. Grace April 26, 2010 at 21:43 #

    TROOPER you are! Thanks for sticking it out for Saturday night! And also sorry if I caused permanent damage… 🙂

  7. Juliana April 27, 2010 at 09:24 #

    inna & grace – i had the funs!
    sara & barbara – i ended up streaming an old eddie izzard stand up routine. but i like watching movies on my tv not on my tiny laptop!!
    mr. apron – you’re just jealous pot’s so expensive in the ‘burbs

  8. Sara April 27, 2010 at 12:34 #

    I just watched an eddie izzard standup routine a week ago on Netflix. Seriously? Are we meant to be together or what?

    • Juliana April 27, 2010 at 16:55 #

      how does your fiancee feel about having 2 lovers?

      • Sara April 28, 2010 at 10:58 #

        I’m pretty sure he’ll be okay with it. He is a man after all!

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