I like life

5 May

This is what happens when you’re me.

You’re sitting at a café, reading funny blogs, when a girl walks in and says to your waiter/bartender:

Hi, I was here earlier and left $20 to pay my bill that was only $6.95, but I didn’t have time to get change so I left, and now I’m back. I’m really hoping someone left my money aside.

OK, well I don’t have a cash register back here, but you may speak with the manager right over there by the cash register.

She walks just a few feet away and waits to talk to the tall guy in black.

At the same time, the waiter and I exchange a glance that says, dude was that chick serious?

A girl sitting two seats down from me says, very loudly, I don’t believe her. I mean, I used to work at [insert retail here] and people would do that all the time. Honestly, she’s lying.

I say in a low voice, to him, I mean, I’m not going to say that she’s lying, but, dude, that’s not a very smart move. We chuckle.

The loud girl says, seriously, that is the dumbest thing I ever heard. That’s how people are. They were burned once so they turn around and screw someone else over, like, you know what, I got screwed so I can do this. ‘Cause people are entitled… [there was more, I forget] Guilty till they can prove they’re not! I should know, I just finished law school.

You just finished law school and you’re saying your motto is guilty till proven innocent? I ask.

Yeah, she says with a smile.

And you’re gonna be a lawyer? Good lord, I hope I never need one.

It was a JOKE.

Really? It didn’t sound like a joke.

It was a joke. I was kidding. She’s really glaring at me now.

OK, well. You’re saying all that about a person who is standing right there.

She stares at me, looks back to her computer screen and says, Oh get off your high horse.

I’m not on one, I’m just… you know, trying to show you what just happened. I apologize if I was rude.

You decide you must blog about this, so you do. Then a guy sitting next to you (between you and loud girl) – the one who was standing outside the café smoking a cigarette with his laptop bag in tow as you walked up to the café entrance with your own laptop bag in tow while also smoking a cigarette; the one you end up sitting next to because there were no other empty seats at the bar, and you both pull out 10″ tiny laptops – says:

I’m sorry, I noticed earlier you were reading something about the FCC net neutrality regulations, what was that on?

Oh, I think it was CNet. Yea, here it is, It’s CNet. We go over the article together.

Somehow he’s a blogger, I’m a blogger, we start talking about blogging and hosting options, readership, getting published, Twitter, the Grub Street writing classes, NPR, The New Yorker, Goldman Sachs, British elections and the lack of a real Green Party in the US…….. Jesus Christ.

See, for every unpleasant interaction you have with a person, if you keep an open mind and open heart, you can just sit there, and good people bump into you. And then you get a little blog post out of it. Then you order a chocolate chip cookie with your coffee. You should really stop drinking four cups of coffee at 11pm. Hi, Tristan. Your blog‘s awesome.

Oh, and upon delivering the bill, the waiter says, the cookie’s on me. Seriously.

(You give him an awesome tip, obviously. OK, I’m done)

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18 Responses to “I like life”

  1. Carly Findlay May 6, 2010 at 03:00 #

    I love how you write about these interactions in your life.
    What a nice way to meet a new friend 🙂

  2. Ben May 6, 2010 at 04:58 #

    Um. That turned around like crazy.

  3. Sara May 6, 2010 at 10:01 #

    What, what are the chances? I don’t think anyone from Louisiana blogs. If they did, it would probably be an incredibly lame blog. Because obviously I’m the coolest blogger in the state.

  4. Matt May 6, 2010 at 12:22 #

    Win!

  5. fallingfromprams May 6, 2010 at 20:53 #

    That is awesome that you could just pick up conversations like that. I’m too shy and self conscious. And what kind of lawyer in America believes in guilty till innocent? That’s weird.

  6. Natalie Cottrell May 6, 2010 at 22:08 #

    What an awesome story! And you’re right: for every less-than-awesome interaction with idiot strangers, there is usually a pleasant, faith-in-people-renewing run-in just around the corner.

    (There are a whole lot of prepositions going on there. Wow.)

  7. Mr. Apron May 7, 2010 at 06:13 #

    Wow. You’re a real gem, you know that? If I were you, I would have told every one of those people to get the fuck away from me.

    Even the one with the free cookie.

  8. Natira May 7, 2010 at 16:01 #

    What the hell?! I’ve never heard of anyone coming back for change. I don’t know why I’m even surprised though.

    Kudos and good karma to you for sticking the whole thing out! I’m still not sure how I would have responded, but I don’t think I’d have been as composed.

  9. Martin May 7, 2010 at 16:07 #

    I never would turn down a free cookie. That’s crazy talk.

  10. subject-verb agreement May 8, 2010 at 15:54 #

    yeah, yeah, yeah – did you get the digits or what?

    • Juliana May 8, 2010 at 17:58 #

      i’m afraid there were no magnets in the pockets, dear. :-/

      • The Girl Is Goosed May 8, 2010 at 19:33 #

        My question exactly, hehe. I love the man’s blog though! Great find!

  11. hannahkaty May 8, 2010 at 16:03 #

    I kid you not, this post absolutely made my day.. I love making connections with strangers, especially in coffee shops. And now you have me craving cookies.

    Best,

    Hannah Katy

  12. The Girl Is Goosed May 8, 2010 at 19:19 #

    Again, I need to get out of my parent’s place and find a cafe with good background music and write.

    Tomorrow.

  13. The Mercurial Wife May 9, 2010 at 18:03 #

    You know what? I should try this I-left-my-change ish one day! That would be fun…hahahahaha…

  14. hannah May 10, 2010 at 16:34 #

    Working at a coffee shop, I have a front row seat to these sorts of interactions. They fill me with all sorts of joy, happiness and hope for humanity, and then severe discomfort because I too am a huge creep for observing them in the first place.

    I like you too!

  15. wanderingmenace May 12, 2010 at 07:41 #

    I just want to take this moment to congratulate you on directly confronting the loud girl. If it was me, I’d probably have a million things I wanted to say, but then just sit there typing them out on my blog without actually confronting her.
    Though knowing my luck, she would have spotted me anyway to pick a fight with-because I seem to have one of those faces.
    Your posts brighten my day

  16. Robin - Twentysomething Test Dummies May 12, 2010 at 09:12 #

    You really are a nice person. I typically glower and have bitch-face on when I’m out in public – think I should take your approach and maybe I could get free cookies. And not to be the superficial stalker that I obviously am but Tristan? Is very attractive. And smert.

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